These are two pictures I took recently, one with make up and hair fixed, and one without and hair thrown up. I am proud to say that I have come to a point where I am comfortable with both. Maybe not everyday, but most days. That is a start! Consistently battling with weight loss, make up was at least something I could use to enhance myself, but why couldn't I just love both!
Something the people have shown me here is love, and not the fake kind of love on the surface, but real deep love! I struggle with self image and have ups and downs with myself. But, if we believe that everything the Lord made is beautiful and perfect, why should we think any less of ourselves? Recently, two of the women in the colonia, both in the same day in fact, told me how beautiful I was. I said, well I actually fixed my hair today! I laughed, but they both had the same reaction. "Emily, even with your hair up and no make up you are beautiful! You're always beautiful!" (In Spanish of course) Usually when people say things like this I think "Oh they have to say that, they're just being nice." But these women were sincere and spoke out of love. I love that the women are so supportive. We talk about weight loss, and eating healthy and how hard it is sometimes. We help build each other up and keep each other accountable! God wanted me to hear those words that day to remind me that he made me and saw that I was good! Women and Men, walk around today with your head held high, whether you are at the beginning of weight loss, or just gained it all back. Whether you think you are too skinny, or too wrinkly, too tall, or too big boned, YOU are fearfully and wonderfully made by our perfect Lord! WE are wonderfully made! And WE are beautiful!
I'll close with the complete 139th Psalm:
"O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it. Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me. If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,” even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you. For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I would count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with you. Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God! O men of blood, depart from me! They speak against you with malicious intent; your enemies take your name in vain. Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord? And do I not loathe those who rise up against you? I hate them with complete hatred; I count them my enemies. Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!" (Psalm 139:1-24 ESV)
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